Monday, April 18, 2011

The end of The Gray Market Report

As publisher and author of The Gray Market Report, it is my duty to report that it abruptly ceased publication on Saturday.

Once listed as the 5th-most-read wine blog in the world, The Gray Market Report made a series of bad investments that led to its precarious position.

After failing to acquire enough selenium to control the world market and enact monopoly pricing, The Gray Market Report met with an alien buyer who promised to deliver the entire world supply of unobtainium. The Gray Market Report arrived at the meeting point with a briefcase, and is still waiting, if you're reading this, you naughty fibber.

Further disastrous attempts at diversification for The Gray Market Report included Club Med Kabul (which is still receiving billions in federal aid), the Russian-language rights to the "Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark" soundtrack and a 1/3 interest in Ozzie Osbourne's yet-to-be-recorded Christian spirituals collection. (Highlight songs: "Sharon, There's A Guy Up There," and "Jesus Christ, Can't I Get Some Quiet Around Here?")

While The Gray Market Report has publicly acknowledged its troubles with alcohol, we would like to categorically state that The Gray Market Report has nothing to do with the ongoing federal investigations into steroid use, serial killings, and Medicare and social-security entitlements being wasted on the ill and elderly. We did not let anyone inject us in the stomach with anything, and we're prepared to give a different answer under oath.


While The Gray Market Report sits in the corner and thinks about what it's done, we would like to announce the advent of an entirely new, good-tempered website that never gets on anyone's nerves:

The Gray Report

Please welcome The Gray Report into your homes several days per week as it shares its completely serious viewpoint on the worlds* of wine, spirits, sake and food.

* If you think that's a lot of worlds, you've clearly never read DC Comics.

The Gray Report: "We've Taken The Gray Market Report Off The Market."

12 comments:

Jon Bjork said...

You got me a bit anxious for a moment, Blake, as I took a quick glance at this post! I wouldn't want to be deprived of your entertaining and insightful near-daily read. Cheers!

jo6pac said...

good-tempered website that never gets on anyone's nerves:

This already sounds Boring. Slow news day?

Joel BrĂ¼t said...

Why not the Gray Area?

ColoradoWinePress said...

So are there any changes aside from the removal of the word 'market' in the title?

guren said...

And hopefully all wines will be reviewed using the new and innovative "Gray Scale".

W. Blake Gray said...

Well I changed the url, so that's something.

The Gray Area? It's a great idea, but there are a couple of sites called that already. I originally considered Gray Matter as well but that has also been done.

I had been thinking about the change for a while because when people who like my blog introduce me to people who have never heard of me (this actually happens a lot at wine events), they invariably say, "The Gray Report." Nobody ever says "Market." The ex-newspaperman in me saw a capitalized word unnecessarily taking up space.

Plus, I originally called it "The Gray Market Report" as a pun on the gray market for premium wines, but I never really report on that so it's kind of misleading.

Jo6pac: Yep, slow news day. But what the heck, if my former employer changed its name to The Francisco Chronicle, they'd issue at least a blog post. So what the heck.

Franco said...

Blake, you can change the name of your wine blog but I hope so much to read your post again and again.
For me your blog is a cult blog, very useful and interesting
cheers!
Franco

Portland Charcuterie Project said...

If you're retiring, may I have those cool red glasses?

Portland Charcuterie Project said...

If you're retiring, may I have those cool red glasses?

W. Blake Gray said...

PCP: If your eyes were bad enough to wear my glasses, you wouldn't be able to tell your finocchiona from your soppressata. Disaster!

Anonymous said...

Like the new name. Nothing wrong with "Going Gray"

Erika Szymanski said...

Blake, I think that I want to be you when I grow up.