Wednesday, October 24, 2012
What writers really say about wines we don't like
I was rooting around in some old notebooks yesterday and found these tasting notes from a session -- most likely multiple sessions -- with Jon Bonné during my time at the San Francisco Chronicle. I don't remember what all we tasted; I must have kept the actual notes in a different notebook. And I don't remember who said what. So with apologies/thanks to Jon, here's what I have written down:
This is what lemonade would taste like if it were made by Satan.
It's like a Dunkin Donuts strawberry cream donut in a puddle.
(Wine number) 10 smells like a rat trap -- 11 is the rat trap that worked.
Floral and sweaty: Like nice deodorant on a person who needs it.
Mid-inhale, I thought, why am I bringing in more molecules of this?
(Wine number) 43 is body shop. And not the nice Body Shop: auto body shop. The grease trap at an auto body shop.
Jon: 6 parts water to 1 part cream soda plus lemon juice
Blake: Ricola cough drop left in the sun
Number 2 smells like bad cafeteria pudding
This one smells like a gym where I used to wrestle. They had this stuff they rubbed on the floor.
Jon: Has there been an occasion for you to smell lark's vomit?
Blake: I think if you smell something that might be lark's vomit, there's a pretty good chance that (wine's) not getting in the paper
Tasting (wine number) 5 reminds me of going to a movie I know I'm going to hate so I know exactly how much to hate it.
I got stewed cheese, window polish and shoe cleaner.
What is it in the winemaking that makes it smell like urine?
(And you thought wine tasting was all fun and games. Any winemakers care to answer that last question?)
Posted by W. Blake Gray at 6:30 AM