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Monday, January 14, 2013

Bad tasting note of the week

This wine tastes like these! Isn't that helpful?
After I ran a terrible tasting note from the Tampa Bay Times two weeks ago, I got an email from a longtime reader in the retail business. He passed along the tasting note below.

I don't know if I can make "bad tasting note of the week" a regular feature, but as PBS might say, maybe I can with support from readers like you.

I don't want to go all Natalie MacLean and run tasting notes without attribution. No, no: Full credit must be given where it's due, and if the note has a photo of the writer with it like this one, so much the better.

This note makes me feel a little lacking visually. I don't usually bother to describe white wines' color unless they're cloudy, but Gil comes up with "a bright fine citrine-yellow color with a star-bright core." He can see the Spanish sun in the glass!

And just in case you didn't know the other name for Japanese gooseberry, read on.


It's also known as physalis! Wow, that explains everything. Except for the fact that if a Key lime pie were made with kaffir limes, it would be a kaffir lime pie. But you gotta give him credit: he managed to name 7 fruits in the aroma and 5 different fruits on the palate. If you don't get 12 different fruits out of this wine, you're just not paying attention.

Keep those bad tasting notes coming, folks.

You can alert me to a bad tasting note by using my Twitter handle, @wblakegray, 
or by sending a message to  The Gray Report on Facebook.

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15 comments:

  1. rapopodaJanuary 14, 2013 at 7:38 AM

    Oh wow that tasting note screams 'look at me I'm a tw@!'

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  2. Pam BarksdaleJanuary 14, 2013 at 7:51 AM

    I love your blog and read it daily. But I much prefer to focus on the wine rather than humiliation. I agree, the note wasn't helpful, but now I just feel for the writer, who was obviously trying. I'm a southern girl, and I guess courtesy and kindness just matter to me.

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  3. rapopodaJanuary 14, 2013 at 8:12 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. Larry BrooksJanuary 14, 2013 at 8:32 AM

    This is why wine writers get beat up during recess.

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  5. W. Blake GrayJanuary 14, 2013 at 8:47 AM

    Pam: Thanks for the comment, it's a worthy reminder.

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  6. RossJanuary 14, 2013 at 9:34 AM

    Hell I guess the only PC way to review a wine is to write "it's wine, it's good, drink it". It's a shame no bad reviews for a wine ever get published. There was always a certain amount of satisfaction in telling someone that their wine was so bad that I had to lick my dog's ass to get the taste out of my mouth.

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  7. Larry BrooksJanuary 14, 2013 at 9:39 AM

    I couldn't disagree more. It's very easy to be snarky or even crude like "unknown" in your comment about wine. My first mentor in wine taught me that it's a far more interesting exercise to try and say something positive about a wine you hate. A comment such as "I really like how liquid this wine is." would be a good example of this.

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  8. Fred Swan, www.norcalwine.comJanuary 14, 2013 at 10:57 AM

    The prose is literally purple.

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  9. AnonymousJanuary 14, 2013 at 11:07 AM

    Yeh.........I don’t get it.................... is a finish sharp as a tack short?

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  10. Matt J - SacramentoJanuary 14, 2013 at 11:27 AM

    If you can experience half of what that tasting note concludes and the wine sells for less than $10 how was this not the #1 Wine Spectator wine of 2012!?

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  11. CabfrancophileJanuary 14, 2013 at 9:53 PM

    Good grief. If this guy can prattle on like this over $5 and $10 wines, what do his notes for truly world class wines look like? I'd imagine a 1st Growth Bordeaux would warrant a dissertation!

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  12. gurenJanuary 14, 2013 at 11:19 PM

    Mr. Schwarz is one of the worst offenders I've seen for using unhelpful taste descriptors. I live in Japan and to my knowledge have never seen nor smelled a gooseberry, crushed or otherwise. In his January 2, 2013 review of Chateau Mayne Guyon (thanks for the link, rapo), Mr. Schwarz references crushed marionberries and Mirabelle plum skins. Are these positive qualities in a Bordeaux? At least thanks to Mr. Scharz and Wikipedia, I now know that a marionberry is a cross between the 'Chehalem' and 'Olallie' blackberries. So there's that.

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  13. clay h.January 16, 2013 at 7:16 AM

    I can't wait to see all that on a shelf talker.
    The distributor will have to include a magnifying glass with each one!

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  14. AnonymousJanuary 17, 2013 at 9:26 AM

    Water Chestnuts? Seriously? When have they ever had an aroma or flavor.

    Please keep these up, they are a reminder that adjectives are not our friends. :)

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  15. UnknownJanuary 18, 2013 at 4:51 AM

    Thoroughly enjoyable post. While I agree with Pam on courtesy and kindness, sometimes you need to "call a spade a spade."

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