We're living through the de-evolution of written language: from meaningless letters that form words and sentences back to meaningful pictograms that anyone can understand. This is a tough development for writers, but I'm trying to stay ahead of the curve.
So here we are: the first wine reviews written solely in emoji. I have chosen cru Beaujolais for this experiment because the best quality of a great Beaujolais is delight. Or, better expressed, Beaujolais π·πππ½ππππ€π.
Guy Breton RΓ©gniΓ© 2014 ($26) 12% alcohol
Imported by Kermit Lynch
π♀️πππΆ❄️π½π₯π₯ππ♂️91
Buy it here
G. Descombes Morgon 2015 ($20) 13%
Louis/Dressner Selections
πππΏ♀️π
πΆππππ¦π©π»91
Buy it here
Christophe Pacalet Chenas 2015 ($18) 14%
Imported by Winebow
ππππΏ♀️π€Ό♂️πππ€π91
Buy it here
Domaine Jean-Claude Lapalu "La Croix des Rameaux" Brouilly 2014 ($30) 13%
Imported by Vinergie Vins de France
πππ΅ππππΌπΆ92
Buy it here
Chateau des Jacques Moulin-Γ-Vent 2013 ($21) 13%
A Louis Jadot wine, imported by Kobrand
⛅️πππΌ♀️π89
Buy it here
Julien Sunier Fleurie 2015 ($30) 13.5%
Imported by Polaner Selections
ππ―πππΉπ¨π»π87
Buy it here
Don't think I'm kidding: I took a lot longer translating my raw tasting notes into published form on these wines than I usually do. πππ
So one is good when drinking with Santa while watching multiple clocks, and another is best when dining on goats at your candlelight campsite.
ReplyDeleteOne is good with a woman in jail, while another compels women to dance.
Ah, one has a double dose of mega purple that makes you want to wrestle.
And that first one is for bro-snowflakes whose "friends" avoid them like the plague.
Thanks. This clears up all the confusion.
ReplyDeleteMy pleasure!
ReplyDeleteSomething I discovered from doing this: I wanted to use universal emojis so that you would see what I chose. If I used a kumquat emoji, for example, that I lifted from the Internet, your phone or computer might not display it correctly if we are using different operating systems.
What that meant was that I had a lot fewer fruits to choose from. Is that a bad thing? This might actually be a positive evolution in tasting notes. There were many writing restrictions in doing this -- mouthfeel was very difficult to express -- but aren't you glad to see a bunch of wine reviews with no black raspberry, red currant or gooseberry?
Pretty brilliant.
ReplyDeleteWait . . . what ‽ [*]
ReplyDelete". . . wine reviews with no black raspberry, red currant . . ."
Aren't those represented by this symbol?: π
[*Speaking of symbols and punctuation marks, see what I did there? It's called an interrobang. Look it up.]