I am the world's best wine writer: The hardware's here!

Holding the hardware

If you're the World's Best Wine Writer, you have to tell people yourself.

I emailed executive food editor Michael Bauer of the San Francisco Chronicle, where I used to work, a few weeks ago to congratulate him for winning Best Newspaper Food Coverage for large newspapers. He thanked me and asked, what have you been up to? I said, well, I was just named world's best online wine writer. He said, really, when did that happen?

So what the heck, I'm going to announce it again. Last week, I received the trophy -- my trophy -- for winning the 2013 Roederer Award for Online Wine Columnist/Blogger of the Year, sent by parcel post from London (possibly aboard the QE2.)

It's not like the Stanley Cup, I don't have to give it back. Unfortunately, unlike the Stanley Cup, I haven't figured out how to drink from it, and please hold your suggestions about what the shape appears to make it suited for. It's hardware, I won it, hurray for me.

What I really need is a crown. Or a sash. Yeah, maybe a sash.

It's too late for the photo to appear on my new World's Best Wine Writer business cards, which I'll be handing out willy-nilly, as I ordered 1,000 of them (there was a Columbus Day sale.) You probably think I'm kidding. Next time you see me, go ahead and ask for my business card. See if I'm kidding.

This is the award Natalie MacLean won when she began calling herself the World's Best Wine Writer. Torch, passed. This is a rare instance where someone can take a line from Natalie instead of the other way around.

In theory, I should have the title until somebody else wins the award in 2014. But MacLean used it long after somebody else won. And I'm not going to complain about that, because did I mention I ordered 1,000 business cards?

It's like a Wine Enthusiast rating for a whiskey: if George Dickel, which is non-vintage, gets 92 points, ever, it can and will advertise itself as being a 92-point whiskey forever. Somebody else might win this award in the future, but I'll always have the hardware, and I am decidedly non-vintage.

By now you may be wondering how the heck I won this thing. Here's one column I submitted; here's another. You might like this column or this news story.

Or maybe it was the glasses? Blue is the new red, now that I'm the World's Best Wine Writer.

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