Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Noncontroversial wine stories! (Unless you're Riedel)

Hey folks, would you give me a nickel? I promise I won't spend it on drugs.

I have written several columns for Wine Fix, a website for wine beginners. They're all outstanding examples of the dying use of words to say things (when am I going to learn to write a wine column in emoji?) And I get a nickel for every click.

Here are the links and some of the sentences you won't find when you read the columns:

A Crash Course in Dessert Wines

Whether you're trying to forcefeed a diabetic spouse you've tired of, or simply want a sweet ending to a meal, here's what you need to know!

How Many Types of Wine Glasses Do You Really Need?

Do you know how many pairs of eyeglasses I have? I know what you're thinking, punk, did he have six pairs of eyeglasses or only five. Well let me tell you I don't remember myself. But seeing as this is a 44 Magnum, the most powerful gun in the world ... oh, sorry, wrong movie. You know those Riedel people? Fun is made of them here. I also use the word "Poppycock."

Screwcaps vs. Corks: What's the Deal?

The first comment on this post is very flattering. Have you written anything nice on a blog post lately? No? Well you don't have to on this one, because it's already there.

11 Expensive Wine Myths Debunked

Now that I look at the title, are these expensive myths, or myths about expensive wines? Either makes sense. If I could get this column in front of wine beginners I'd be really happy, but again, it's all written in words so nobody in the year 2050 will be able to read it. Unhappy face.

Click on all 4 and I get 20 cents! Tell your friends! My auto insurance payment is due. Thanks!

Follow me on Twitter: @wblakegray and like The Gray Report on Facebook.


guren said...

Blake, you are now $0.20 richer and I feel my latent wine knowledge has been enriched by at least double that amount. Nice work.

By the way, I am guessing that you own more than just 6 pairs of eyeglasses.

Unknown said...

Here's how other wine writers have addressed one of the topics:

Jon Bonné says four wine glasses:

James Laube says one wine glass:

“The Perfect Wineglass: One Size Fits All”

Matt Kramer said (21 years ago) one wine glass:

"Glass Consciousness"

I don't know what Parker recommends.

And then there is corollary consideration: aeration.

A wine writer whose byline readers of this blog will instantly recognize penned a masterful overview on decanting.

“Call It Aroma Therapy for Wine”